We Don't Start Off Crazy
cra·zy: mentally deranged; demented; insane.
Women use this term to describe something senseless and impractical. Men use it to describe women they've dated. Ever notice every man has a crazy ex? Coincidence? Not completely.
The next time you're on a date, turn to this seemingly near perfect man and ask him what went wrong in his last relationship/date. 8 out of 10 guys will somehow incorporate the word crazy, and the woman he previously dated, in the same sentence. This is not to say that I haven't had my crazy moments, but here is the thing- WE DON'T START OFF THAT WAY!
Behind every "crazy" Jane, is shithead Dick. Unfortunate, but true. Jane did not wake up one day and realize that she has lost all sense of sanity. No, Jane woke up one day with Dick who did not call her back the next day.
Women have therapy groups entirely revolving around just these asshole-esque behavior men have created specifically for women. It's as if men somehow have a vault containing all the shitty shitty moves they pull out on special occasions for their lady friends.
He's Just Not Into You. Ever hear of this little Ny Times Bestseller? Revolutionary. Brilliant. Not because it's frighteningly true or that I may recognize some of those girls in there, but because it is absolutely man's finest hour. And by man, I mean clams are excluded. Acclaimed for opening all the secrets on the endless hours women waste pinning over men and all the bullshit we try to validate, this book shows that you, (I WILL live to regret this) men, may be the superior gender. Men selling back sanity to the women in little how to guides... It's very Fight Club when Brad Pitt sells women back their ass fat- repackaged in the form of cosmetics at high end department stores. Not only did Dick give Jane the wicked flu, he's also holding the NyQuil, charging her double, and just got a sincere thank you card from her in the mail. Brilliant don't you think? I applaud you men. Sometimes this kind of genius makes me wish I had a penis. Maybe I am crazy...
Use another word fellas. She's not crazy. She just had to adjust dealing with YOU.
-Simply Emily
The next time you're on a date, turn to this seemingly near perfect man and ask him what went wrong in his last relationship/date. 8 out of 10 guys will somehow incorporate the word crazy, and the woman he previously dated, in the same sentence. This is not to say that I haven't had my crazy moments, but here is the thing- WE DON'T START OFF THAT WAY!
Behind every "crazy" Jane, is shithead Dick. Unfortunate, but true. Jane did not wake up one day and realize that she has lost all sense of sanity. No, Jane woke up one day with Dick who did not call her back the next day.
Women have therapy groups entirely revolving around just these asshole-esque behavior men have created specifically for women. It's as if men somehow have a vault containing all the shitty shitty moves they pull out on special occasions for their lady friends.
He's Just Not Into You. Ever hear of this little Ny Times Bestseller? Revolutionary. Brilliant. Not because it's frighteningly true or that I may recognize some of those girls in there, but because it is absolutely man's finest hour. And by man, I mean clams are excluded. Acclaimed for opening all the secrets on the endless hours women waste pinning over men and all the bullshit we try to validate, this book shows that you, (I WILL live to regret this) men, may be the superior gender. Men selling back sanity to the women in little how to guides... It's very Fight Club when Brad Pitt sells women back their ass fat- repackaged in the form of cosmetics at high end department stores. Not only did Dick give Jane the wicked flu, he's also holding the NyQuil, charging her double, and just got a sincere thank you card from her in the mail. Brilliant don't you think? I applaud you men. Sometimes this kind of genius makes me wish I had a penis. Maybe I am crazy...
Use another word fellas. She's not crazy. She just had to adjust dealing with YOU.
-Simply Emily
posted by SimplyEmily at
1:52 PM
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