A/S/L ???

Please tell me I'm not so old that you don't know what the title suggests?!

So, Yes- I have taken the plunge into the abyss. The online dating abyss that is... Am I embarrassed? A little. Am I amused? Thoroughly.

I'm not going to lie and say that this is my first foray into this limitless word of lurve. I have answered all of eharmony's 94823084130984 questions only to find out that computer generated love matches were no bueno. This, my kittens, is my first REAL attempt/honest effort at online dating. All this is happening at Okcupid.com. Why? Mostly cause I'm bored, but more importantly cause it's free. Who doesn't like FREE love? Especially the Asians. We're all about the free. I have put my blood, sweat, and tears into creating- well let's just be real- an AMAZING profile Simplyemily007. All opinions are welcome, only some will be taken into consideration. (Mostly none will be taken into consideration.)

Still lingering on the why? Because. If you don't use it, you lose it. Hey there awkward guy, dating is a skill! One that needs to be updated. Like Excel or... Your crappy bra. Yes I'm losing this metaphor battle, but its 5:30 in the morning and my finest work is NOT done at 5:30AM.

Not convinced? Online dating is a MAYJAHHHHH ego boost and damn-it I'm in need of some ego boosting. About this ego boosting... It's fast, convenient, and serves my need for validation. Instant gratification. Voila~~~ In a mere two hours I have received 83 views, 14 messages, and 4 winks. Apparently Winks are important as one is only granted 1.5 per day. What the hell is a 1.5 Wink? I don't know, but that's apparently what I'm allotted.

From a quick looky loo, not all online Romeos are pathetic losers equipped with socially awkward behaviors still living at home void of any real life dating experience. Probably just most of them...

I will not answer you if you are:

Fat

Ugly

Fat and Ugly

Boring

Creepy

Start off any conversation with "hey cutie/hotstuff/Asian mama/Konichiwa(unless ur Japanese)"

Have no profile picture to legitimize any claims on physical appearance

Please check up on me often as I do not want to end up on an Episode of Investigation Discovery: Dangerous Love. Dun duh duh....

Simply,

Emily